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Archive for July, 2005

Why I want to move out on my own:

  1. i can get home anytime i want after supper or work
  2. anyone can stay over anytime (great idea!)
  3. i can wear anything at home. (i’d leave things up to your imagination) P/S: mum, can you stop commenting on what i SHOULD wear or MUst wear, i mean its my hse too! shallnt go into details.
  4. i can mess up the room
  5. buy more stuff without anyone saying i’ve got enough
  6. sleep at 7am without bursting my bladder by stayin in my room and afraid tt they’d realize i havent slept
  7. i’d get to revamp my own room the way i want it (KING SIZE BED)
  8. i’d have the freedom to do “anything” i want at home
  9. i can get a dog!!
  10. NO MORE NAGGING!!! =)

Why i’m still staying with my parents and not moving out on my own:

  1. I’m not financially independent. Expenses wise, yes, lodging? school fees? uH-uh
  2. I refuse to wake up in the middle of the nite to bring in clothings if it rains
  3. Mum cooks great food, n she’s the best (and only) mummy!
  4. Dad has a car, n i’m very fond of him.
  5. My bro’s becomin more mature, n i love seein him change from a little boy, to the great guy he is now
  6. No one’s gona bug me to keep my room Tidy
  7. No one’s gona joke n sincerely care for me
  8. I’d wake up in the middle of a nite a lonely person
  9. I spent the last 20 years with them, and im emotionally attached to them
  10. They’re my family and i love them!

Spent most of the day with prisc in the library. What a life. it’s my OFF DAY!!!! argh. nevertheless, kinda satisfied with the outcome of it all. Dinner with my parents, Thai food, love it. (BANGKOK HERE I COME!) went shopping at cold storage, and i’m back HOME. Stuck with my unfinished DVD serial. ok… lets see. 4 more dvds to go. = bout.. 10-12 more episodes? gona have a weekly de-stress program man. or i’d crash n burn.

here r some thoughts for today after speakin to some ppl..

i’ve only got one life, and this time, it’s prolly the last time i’m gona
study full time. The next time i’m studyin, it’ll be when i’m having a full time
job. Situation presents a challenge, a chance for me to take charge of something
i’m interested in, and give it my best shot. WHY waste it!? At least. i know i
aint alone. Great thanks to those who helped out in bad times, giving me virtual
hugs n kisses, helping me get to bed, telling me things which aint good to
hear… etc. or simply, just by being there for me. you know u’re deeply
appreciated in more ways than one.

I’m growing up… but Is it a way i want to?

How others view me, is simply a mirror, in which i see my own reflection. Thanks for showing it to me.. I’m not sure if i like what i’m seeing.

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project

i’m feeling

SHIOKK!!!

What could be betta than having a gggrrreAT meal with great company at Crystal Jade after work, AND goin home only to shower, surf the net and head to bed, knowing i can wake up at 1pm. Heavenly. Sweet.

It was christina’s last day of work yesterday. Wait. lemme rephrase. She’s changing to the morning shift. so basically, we’d see zilch of her. No one’s gona haf supper with me anymore. Maybe then i’d quit supper all together. =)

u know what, i dont wana be taken for granted. Getting kinda pissed with project and its mates and editing and substandard work and the RESPONSIBLITY LEVEL of theirs. If anyone of u r reading it, YES, i am gonna be pissed very soon. Not yet, but SOON.

Felt you’ve done your part well enough, n you’ve got a clear conscience. Then i aint speaking about you. Because if u think you’ve done your best. I’m fine with it. Is there a slight tinge of guilt? rephrase, An apparent sense of GUILT due to lack of responsibility? yes? Then its you i’m talkin about.

P/S: this applies to EVERY OTHER BLOODY IRRESPONSIBLE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD

i hate doin editorial work. But i chose to do it. Why? i dont want others to screw my work. It’s MY grades. Just FYI if you dont realize, its YOUR grades too. I dont expect it to be Perfectly done, or in super good english, or with 1000 words for each part. ALL i expect. i repeat, ALL I EXPECT is for it to be given to me ON time, n with a certain degree of content. I need RESPONSIBILITY from all you (presumably) adults! If u say u’d give me by today, make sure its done by TODAY. if u cant, u jolly well tell me the day before that it cant be done. You do what you say, because you are responsible for your choices, and LIABLE for your words.

I’m trying very hard this semester. For once, i want to do well in school. Its prolly the last time i’m gonna study. Im pouring my heart n soul into the things i do. I havent felt so strongly about “life” for a long time. I like my work, i like the things i’m studying and doing, i like the relationships i have. I LOVE LIFE NOW. I spent every waking hour of mine either doin school related things, working, (excluding blogging) even compromising the little time i have with eric. I aint a great person at projects. i aint a super duper good worker. not the perfect girlfriend either. What matters, is that i’m trying, n i’ve got a no doubt about that

to the fuckers (or fuckers to be) that take me for granted. Screw you. Wana continue leading a life of no responsibility, thinking your own world is “oh-so-hard” and you’re so busy, getting no life this and that shit. Think AGAIN. If you do have time to watch TV progs at home in real time, SHuddit. You dont qualify to even breath a word of unhappiness. The TV junkie, channel 55 freak, is now reduced to a 1.5 hr show, EACH WEEK, on tape.

i apologize if i’m a lil vulgar or rude.. or concieted. But i made no mention of names. I aint implying. I mentioned, if u’ve got a clear conscience bout things, you know i aint speaking about you! I didnt mention names.. you placed yourself in there. Dont go round sayin what a bitch i am. Then again. Go ahead. Dont mind being one anyway. Percieve all you want, your life’s a lie anyway.

btw in life,
some may hate me,
for starters,
i dont like you very much either.
I dont quite give a fart about you. =)

Somehow it makes me feel so much better knowing that the feeling is somewhat mutual.
Ever thought that the problem lies with yourself and not me?
If the problem lies with me, then its MY problem.
What if its yours?
go clear you fcuked up head.
Once again. no names mentioned.
If u’re sensitive n oh so “emo-emo” now.
i cant help you.
God bless.

time to head meet prisc for the PROjECT! 😦

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The Curse

Quite often, good things simply just dont last.
I thought I had the last laugh.
Seems like the last has yet to come.
Since time and situation wiped away this scornful sneer of mine,
So I shall await that day,
since this sinister smile dont suffice.
Some deserve better, Some deserve worst.
If you think you’ve got the best,
think twice.
Cuz you’ve been cursed.
I’M JUST KIDDING!!!!… or am i?
Bet you must be thinking i’m evil.
-*i hear some one muttering, making mention of my evil intentions..*-
i wont tell the whole story.. as it’s a real grandmotherly one.
in short.. maybe i’m not a nice person to trifle with after all…
Thought i was? Maybe i still am..
Try me. I dare you!!
sorry peeps. still feeling a little “attitud-ish” over some happenings. nevertheless… had a great time “playing” some stuff with eric today… hehehe…. uH-uh.. dont think dirty. i’d wait for him to sent me the pix before i upload them. tsk. brings me so much joy at the sight of it. such wonderous thrill i say. =)
good nite

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Done the nitty gritty “every-girl-must-do-before-bed” procedures n decided that i should turn on my bimbotic laptop for a session of blogging before bed. As to why why laptop’s bimbotic, it isnt a reflection of its owner, but rather, a wrong choice made. It looks good, feels good, light weight, sleak, basic functions, and without the capability to play games. Aquired weird skill of typing while lying down in bed, it involves *let me count* 4 pillows of different sizes, a bolster, and and a particular protruding part of the body. If u were thinking boobs,**naH** i dont think its that protruding. But if u happen to think that way, thx for the un-common compliment.

Blog whats on my mind, and maybe i’d keep the sleepless nights away. No offence to anyone who inspired me to blog about this, and i’m not particularly offended, infact i’m grateful that its made known to me, so that i do have the opportunity to give it some thought. These are just my thoughts, scribbles, rants etc. anything you wish to call it. Basically something within my sphere of thought and BeYOND other people’s realm of control

Someone told me that i look somewhat Feminine at first. Then, the impression of me changed to that of being tom-boyish. So am i feminine or am i tomboyish actually? Another school of thought would be the originally bimbotic me, followed by the intellectual me, with deep thoughts and never ending arguments. Whats with the disparity?

What am i to you? What’s your impression of me? Not like I can do about it, but contrast to the usual statement of “i dont give a damn” (which usually IS a lie), i DO care. I cant do anything to change your opinion, but I care about what is being said and infact, i make it a point to change whatever i feel would make me a better person

Here’s my humble piece:

Feminism is a perception by guys and girls alike. A form of genteel
submisiveness, emiting an aura of womanly characteristics, in which part
component includes speech, actions, and decisions.

So, what exactly is womanly? WHO defines feminism? Is someone feminine
when she wears a skirt, dress sexily, bring tissue paper, carries make up, speak
softly, walk properly, talks correctly? Who said so? So apparently i aint
feminine (enough). Or is it my character that isnt since i look like one and
dont behave like one. So the female population is not allowed to have a tough
independent side, and the male population shouldnt have a caring fatherly
facade. Only the male are allowed to use the”Book of Vulgarities” while
girls should study the “Book of Virtues”. Am i right to say so?

Know that NOT everione thinks this way. Infact, those who think this way wont even
outlandishly say they do.

Loud, outspoken, frank, with lots of opinion
and being daring are the tom-boyish side of me. the “i am what i am, and u
cannot change me since i dont give a flying fuck” doesnt apply here. Because i
do want to appear as a girl, or rather a girlish girl. Better still. An
Intellectual girlish girl. How does that sound? A dream come true? I wish i were
that.

Like every other true blue non bisexual GIRLie-girl. I want to be percieved
as one, so i try behaving like one. Maybe at the end of the day, i can only look
like one, and not REALLY be one.
With regards to the WHO questions mentioned
earlier, its the Social-Norms that defines female. How female should be like,
how they should act, how they should be behaving, what they should do, what they
should say etc. (Note the SHOULD.) No thanks to the society, its believe that
all girls SHOULD follow a set of norms, I on the other hand, am going to do
something i’ve always wanted to…

I’m Challenging the Societal Norms
AND
Guy’s perception of a “normal” female
I’m not going to be what people initially think i am, i REFUSE
to be classified in a manner way beneath my status as a perfectly normal female.
Screw the dumb who cant pronounce the official currency of Germany befor Euro $
was introduce (Deutsche Mark). Screw those who prefer Prada to Prata, To hell to
those who look good and dont do work. You girls spoil the market for for other
better female i say. Contaminate guy’s impression, and Create lousy
expectations.
*no harm done since im attached* I’m NOT gonna pretend I’m a
blue-blooded FEMALE. Henceforth, val’s just gonna be someone who
dresses depending on the ocassion, speak according to the situation, behave like
how she wants to and DO whatever she thinks it’s right to. AND have every right
to curse in public, make a din, command, scold etc AS SHE DEEM FIT. Maybe its
the “new-age-girl” thing. No idea. I dont think that’s new. Its only NEW to
me.. I know there are afew who behaves this way. So why exactly aren’t
they considered tom-boyish and yet i am? Sad fact. so in conclusion:
Everything you see, is part of me.
No one can change it, because that’s who i choose to be.
How you percieve, it still would exisit…
Because i choose, only to be truthful to ME
Love and Regards to all who survied reading till here,
THE vaL
i’m tired.. sorry if it aint coherent.. time for bed…tomorrow’s another long day

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be Right back

Gosh. my post is gone! DAMN!
I’ve got quite alot of stuff 2 settle for now… Soo.. more updates bout 1929 soon… for now.. id fix the pix.. n get it up!
thx for dropping by!!!
n do leave a tag! 😉

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Next, lemme rant about some HUMAN whom i really dispise. Was eating porridge at Outram, and as usual, there are always ppl selling tissue paper. I’d usually buy, since i’m the kind of girl who do not have tissue stashed in my bag.

So there was this person, he’s “physically challenged” (a nicer way of sayin he’s retarded). He’s hunched, and has trouble walking, looks at ppl from under his arms since he’s hunching so badly. Yet, he’s walking around, selling tissue, trying to make ends meet. Before i even saw him, eric took out 2 bucks, and told me 2 get 2 packets. I couldnt help taking note of him.. and the tables he approached…….

WHAT THE HELL ARE U HEARTLESS PEOPLE THINKING!?

There we’ve got this pathetic looking guy, askin if u wanna buy tissue, and u IGNORE him. HELLO!? the least u could do was wave, and say that u dont one so he can get moving, instead of standing there, pondering, and wishing u bought a packet from him. Was it my over active imagination, or did i see a glint of tear in his eye?

I’m rather sensitive as most of u might already know.. At that point of time, i felt like trotting over, and giving them a piece of my mind. Even their 3 year old toddler had the decency to wave a “i dont want it” sign. It wasnt just 1 table. it was at least 3. Felt a heart wrenching sense of unhappiness. Would i be like them when i’m slightly richer?

Aunties, Uncles, u people watch those un-entertaining, fake, and predictable celebrities perform in the “god-knows-how-many-times-a-year”-charity show. Still, as if brainwashed by them, u people take up ur phone, dial the 1900-112-6868, or 6888, or 8888. Wishing u won a car or condo!? Cummon. keep wishing! Trying to buy a conscience? Save a lot in heaven? keep on dialing, u just might get a golden tap installed in ur home as part benefit of an honorary member. YET, just a dollar or 2 for a pack of tissue!? and u ignore the person. How nice, bet u’d get a landed property in Hades!

*** im stereo typing. so dont get offended by my entry***

Weirdly evil thoughts crept into my mind..

1. ONE DAY, when u’re in need, NO ONE will give u $$$.. or TISSUE PAPER for that matter
2. Shit in a public toilet, Realize that there aint no toilet paper, n WISHED u bought a pack of TISSUE PAPER
3. Get those ugly food stains on ur face, and have no TISSUE PAPER to WIPE them
4. Suffer from the stench of bird shit on ur face and have NO TISSUE to wipe
5. DREAM of yourself as the person, scare the shits out of urself, and have NO TISSUE PAPER

wahaha!!!!

come on peeps.. do yourself a favor.. do society a favor.. Give to the needy.. It dont cost much to help within your means. When we’re all healthy n wealthy, we take forgranted. We dont see the sad side of nature. Help when you still can… cuz u’d never know when u’d need help…

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FISHTANK + BM ad

As promised, here’s a pic of my WorkPlace!!!
Colleagues who r reading this, appreciate the nice art work that u never had the time to.

Cute fishes aye!? with those pouty lips. see the apple!? it’s some sorta health campaign thing. OH SHIT!, i left it there again! forgot to eat it, forgot 2 bring it home. Sneak some lil snippets of pix out nxt time. 🙂 sHhhhh… nothing confidential aniway! 🙂

oh, here’s another ADVERTISEMENT on behalf of a nice guy. I’ve put it up willingly n not a Knife point. For one simple reason. Those who really wanted 2 watch Inital D, WOULD already have watched it. but he……… aparently hasnt got such opportunity. HENCE:

WANTED
someone to watch INITIAL D with!
Anyone will do
preferably female
Free at night
No strings attached
One-off date
Willing to pay for pop-corn, n drink.
Preferably in the west
Profile: Chinese, Male, Straight (i think), single (i suppose), rides a scooter, tall, MHR helmet, no specs, Good pay, Good prospects, Mr. Nice guy, heart of a 3yr old, behavior of a 21 yr old (no disclosure of age) EMAIL with the code: “BM”..(his initials, wish his vehicle had a W behind it) know i wont get much response unless i post a pic of him.. HmmmmMmmMm….. cant lay my hands on a good looking one.. *if u get wat i mean* aahahaa.. juz jesting!
Gonna start my dissapearing act. wld re-appear on SUN.. shHhh… dont go telling eric. More pix up when i’m back… as requested by some very visual ppl who aparently dont quite appreciate reading n prefer checking babes out.

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