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Archive for October, 2005

HalloweenTP!

oHhh fuggggittt!!!!!

was on my way from home to West Coast mac, and was drivng as per norm.
Got back frm work, took dads car, and headed off.. was just mentioning that there are usually TPs around the jalan ahmad ibrahim area… blah blah blah,

and as i was just mentioning AGAIN, that i was travelling at 120, and that i shld slow dwn, James noticed that there are TPs at the side.. i slowed dwn significantly BUT, they caught me…

pulled over at the chevron markings at clementi ave 2 while the TP got out of his bike.

“Good evening mdm”
“our speed laser detected your vehicle going at 115KM/HR for XXKm.”
“pass me ur IC and Driving license”
“It would be 6 points.. blah blah blah…”

So! on the 11th NOvember, val ended up with 6demerit points, a traumatizing experience, supposedly $150 poorer, and a BADddd mood..

Im like super lack of cash tis mth, and if i were to pay the 150 thats the end of vaL. Apparently mr J feels guilty. for some warped reasoning which i cant seem to comprehend. Thanks for offerin to help pay… thanks…realli realli thankful.

val’s off 2 bed. dozing off…
more tmr! nitez peeps

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Move Bitch!

Its a crazy world out there.

People just slipping in and out of ur life Just like that.
incredible number of ppl i’ve lost. Some intentional, some Unintentional.

Surfed by Iris’s blog, and realized, how things have changed. well, she always says that she’d b there, and i too promised her that i’d be there. and look at how things are now. well, it isnt easy knowing that she’s still kenneth’s girlfriend. while I on the other hand have already lost eric. true enough, we ARE still friends despite my exbf and her current bf being best buddies…. Still….. no effort was made by either of us.

Maybe i aint important to her. Maybe she isnt important to me. I said id b there for her. but she’s never turned to me, neither have i turned to her..hmm. havin tis confused feeling now. So is she Not there for me, or was i not there for her? Were we making use of each other, or is there realli such thing known as friendship? Friendship not due to circumstance. oh well..

Irregardless.. its gd 2 understand that life goes on. by hook or by crooK.
I was told to “have a good life ahead…”… sorry, but, even without ur “well-wishes”. i still would have a good life.

Damn it. what do i want in a guy. i Wish i’d have a boyfriend like prisc. Im not turning les. but i wish i had a bf like her. She just knows sometimes. without having to make everything explicit. Isnt that good!? if everything has to be SPELT out. then why dont i just do things myself then!. hahaha..

Perfection’s in the eye of the beholder. true enough, no ones perfect. In his eyes, i use to be perfect.. I can eat and eat and eat n grow fat and he wont mind. he’d say that its alright and HE MEANS IT!!…. i hate it when people complain that i eat too much or i shld eat less or go on diet or stop wasting $$ on food or say i shld exercise. I will try my utmost best to look good for myself, and eating isnt a sin, so as long as i still look good, why b other how much i eat!? screw anyone who tells me to eat less /lose weight. If it bothers u so much, then scOot!

Him in my eyes on the other hand… was that of a totally flawed person.. But i accepted it. tried polishing him.. Succeeded. And failed in a way, cuz he’s no longer mine. I dont want him back either. and i mean it. hahaha… Being without him made me realize how much i do not want him in my life. nope, tis is not a self delusion. Cuz i believe…… i ought to get more than what ive gotten. (right OM?) Val’s getting greeeeeeedy…. She wants to be treaten like how she ought to be… Enough of those shitty days. Enough of those teary eyed days.

2 choices. im getting a better life with someone else, or i get it on my own. Either way, there’s no more room for an eric. or sad days. ~~Move bitch.~~

Oh Fugg.. paper’s in less than 12 hrs. Shit!!.. and what am i doin here!!!>????

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pre ER

Sighhh.. so its 1 more day to ER paper, and i’ve got 1 more week to mug for my MOR paper. Hmmm. Now seriously, ER’s a piece of crap. lemme rant:

1. It makes no Mention of ANYTHING bad about SG Govt. I aint sayin that they’re bad etc. but its totally unrealistic. It makes mention of nothing but how good NTUC is, how the government sorta restructured etc. It somehow makes me feel as if i’m back into some pre war era, where Hitler Ruled, and we had to study the Mien Kampf! What bullshit. Now tell me something more realistic. would ya!?

2. I just got to realize that the bloOdy paper has got 3 parts, Section A= choose 4 out of 6 questions, at only 5 pathetic marks each, Next we are to chOoose between section B (2 out of 3) and C (case study) . 20marks each section. sooO, why the hell am i studying that WHOLE bloody thick stack of notes, when it all sums up to say 40 marks!?!? sighh..

Im becoming a ‘mc donalds’ fanatic. think the staff and the manager at west coast mcdonalds sorta recognize us already! haha.. promise to post the pix up when exams r over. for now… I’m really zonked out.

Oh.. wats more….. i left my hse keys at HOME. so technically, i’m still not home. pls. just dont ask where i am. shit. what a cock head…

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Post OE

Life’s a play…
Everything would come to an end.

Well, just like the OE paper has already ended! =)
and many other things have come to a past.
a full stop. big round one.

its hard to open up sometimes…
hard to accept something new,
to put it simply and selfishly, i want the best of every world
i mean who doesnt!

To put it in an “ethical” way, i dotn want anyone hurt.
Especially those i care for.
So today this is being said, and i believe it,
tmr something else is being done, and there’s nothing i can do!
So how in the world am i supposed to react!!?!??

I feel vulnerable to external elements.
I need time.
to Think, Consider, and hmm.. EnJOY!!!

most of all, to STUDY!!!!!

Bet none of this makes sense to any one of u. Life’s full of mysteries aniwae..

To a particular YOU, If u’re smart enough to find ur way here.
I want someone who trusts me, and whom i trust totally
i need someone to love me, and be able to share with me whatever he has with me no matter how much he has..
he gotta have some form of “zhi qi” (aspiration!?!???) as well as a future. one that he holds dearly, so dear he’d work towards it!
I will love someone who loves me for me.
actions…not words! i wanna see it. so DO IT!

I had that someone once. Now that he’s gone and doesnt give a flyin fuck about me, it doesnt mean i feel the same. Aint finding a replica or replacement. Just that… these acts as benchmarking.

There’s 1 person i love now………. without the person, i’d be the saddest person in the world.
Love u priscy. Thanks for being there, and kicking me out of the “room” at nite whenever i do something “ammoral”. hahaha…. Thanks for giving me the advises i need and a listening ear, as well as great companionship. Well, when i’m attached, the guy betta accept the fact that u’re the “da lao puo” hehee…

Willam, Know u’re readin this. Go Fuckin study! stop momo-ing.
stop whining
stop lookin for guilible chicks
stop stop stop sayin u’d drop out

Nitez all……
thank you Mr. J .. i just feel special again.

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assholes.

Leme rant. im supposed 2 b studyin feelin so screwed.. neverhteless..

Fuckin STupid Stupid sTUPID Guys!
im fuckin DULAN with GUYS in general! u suck! damn it! quit playing with feelings! dont go arnd toying with feelings. i dont give a fuckin care if ur feelings are true! its only true when u decide to let go and make it seem as if it isnt any of ur fault! TO heLL with u!!!!!!!

Fuckin shit!
arghHh…. be it me, or my friend. just fuckin leave them alone!
damn it. quit playing. guys dont get the best of both worlds ALL the time.
and dont push the blame to others!!!!!!

If u’re so bz. Then dont bother her. if u cant commit, dont tell her. if u dont like her now, dont apologize! screwed up shit!hope u crash and burn!

u dont know how much hurt u cause…. asshole.

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Back for awhile..

Sighhhh… Studies r goin really slow n bad… havent got the time 2 slp much. not 2 mention BLOG.. grRrr..

Only have got time for brief n incomplete posts as such:

Sigh.. some things just can’t be controlled I guess.. These days, i’m totally maxed out, I don’t even have the luxury to watch my taped shows, neither do I take long relaxing showers nor surf the web endlessly..

Yet at the same time, after I snooze to bed, I inevitably dream of things which I so hate to dream of.. I use to see it as some form of remembrance, now, it’s nothing but mere hindrance.

Well, I do admit that I do get weird dreams at times, but it’s purely due to my wild imagination! Haha.. The horrible thing about having dreams is to remember the dream vividly after waking up. It just bugs you, just like how some songs gets stuck between your eardrum & brains, constantly playing the jingle on it’s own.. Simply irritating! Well, not if u like the song of cuz.. I on the other hand DO NOT like having certain dreams with a certain character in it. uh-uh! No thanks! It sucks la!

Oh, let me share this ‘Thomas’-fetish.. Heh..

when I just entered primary 1, I SWEAR I was cute n adorable.. So FuHua primary had this prefectorial system, n this boy was assigned to be the Prefect of my class. The then 1G. And yes, the story goes on.. he was cute, at least at that point I thought so…………………..

Incomplete, i know. wld complete it nxt time larhz. 😛

For now..its bed time.

Made a couple of new found friends, and they’re kinda fun 2 be with! =) too bad for now it’s only for STUDIES.. at the usual haunt. argh.

In the meanwhile… I’m so sick so sick so sick of everything that’s goin on these days. Sometimes, i think i’ve HAD ENOUGH!! Enough shit, and emotional wrecking perceptions. I hardly know what i want!. it’s like my my brains and my heart just decided to go on strike! Rationality and emotions dont seem to coincide perfectly. Hence my troubled situation.

Hence for now, Im just gona do whatever deem fit. Prisc says i dont know wat i want, and i think she’s sick of my whining already (but she still loves me :P)… Guess… I’m like that cuz im still having a battle of the hearts vs brains.

Sometimes, i DO want somethings, but situations put it in a way that Things are no longer attainable. When i get negative response, i’m fine with it. I just get dejected, and i’d be all fine!.. what i cant take about myself, is the highly volatile effect things have on my emotions!. i’m like on a roller coaster ride. Blind folded. Not knowing when the nxt plunge wld be. Val’s bad at controlling emotions. I speak my mind. Now i’m thinking its one big flaw of mine….

Oh.. and by the way… If nothing were to happen in bangkok, we’d be together for………… 1Yr, 3mths. HappyBreak up val!. Life cant get any better!! You’re having a time of ur life.. aint ya!?!? **sigh**

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Just like a wisdom tooth….

Well, we all use our molars to chew on things like Ice, Meat.. fine.. almost everything that gets in and down the esophagus. hah..

Before i extracted the my wisdom tooth, i didnt knew i even Used it.. well, we’ve got molars, who uses that wisdom tooth which popped up long after the rest? it only hurts, and we know we’ve gotta get it extracted sooner or later. Lucky ones get to keep it for life….. Unlucky ppl have it crooked and it causes intense headache at the same time…

Well now that it’s extracted, there goes the head(heart)ache… It bled like no body’s business… But bleeding has long stopped… Had the wound stitched up… Only to have it “unstitched” again… Felt numb.. after the jab.. but when things wear off… i feel the hurt again…

Now.. All i’ve left is a scar… Even the gum has receeded. However….. when i bite onto things.. i realize… I no longer have the ability to do so on THAT side… Not that well at least… Its just an empty “hole”… There used to be something there… to facilitate everday action… There use to be something close and personal. Which caused ocassional pain.. but i was too hasty to get rid of it..

Now that it’s gone…. i can only look at the remnants… the single tooth.. It’s no longer embeded in my gum… no way can it get back there.. hah..


Well.. isnt it a good analogy of Feelings.. Relationships… Hmm Mine especially.

Weird analogy. but True. =)

Back to books.

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