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Archive for December, 2005

Photoblog 2005

Hey!!! it’s the 31st already. Goodbye 2005!!
As i was telling william, this time of the year.. (every year).. i’d be telling myself that next year would be a better year. but hey! wait!! i said that last year too!! hah.. This leads to the reflection of my soon to be past year.. Lets just say every day’s a brand new day with new experiences, Every one you meet changes ur life in one way or another…

Here’s val’s 2005 in a nutshell…
(p/s: i hope i can finish this post)
Its non conclusive, and at the same time, restricted to my very very limited memory. hah.

My Photoblog 2005
PS: i’ve tried my very best to DIG and ARRANGE that horrible ton of pix that’s residing in my C:/. Eyes are getting blurry already. Thanks to Picasa, time spent was cut dwn by half 😛
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I started my official/serious/down to earth/PERMANANT full time job at M1.. The people there are really fun loving, well, with particular reference to the ppl in my cluster. Took really good care of myself and my other batch mates when we just joined. The sups there appeared relatively stern in the begining.. but they’re really nice ppl.. Cheok, Adrian, Vif, Jenn, and there was BM there to help always as well as carene… hmmm.. other ppl that i’m thankful to have?? Jerrid, sengchai and kevin for the 24/7 technical support, the YOUNGER crowd like vanassa mandy kenn meryl mya carene leonard.. making the whole place lifelier… Dzai, jaafar, Damien etc.. whom i do not talk to alot, but would be there to clarify any doubts before i get a earful frm jenn 😛
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In case u havent realized, I LOVE MY FAMILY!!! Im a Daddy’s girl, Mummy’s girl and a Bigg sis who has much less $$ than her lil bro. Mum and dad has been especially accomodating to my wrk schedule, making sure i’m safe at home before they sleep, and dad trusting me with his car! They’ve been relatively healthy in the past yr.. lets hope they’d b equally healthy and happy in the coming one..
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Studying for exams can be funn too! esp with the right company.. We mugged really hard, well.. hard enough to scrape through that is!! =) our face ballooned up during this period of time, and used the maximum number of oil blotters possible. but guess what!? we even made time for the movies, phototaking, and Gossipy stuff.. My conclusion??? BUBBLE TEA’S PEARLS MAKE U FAT!!!
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OH.. and i’m like so into those stuid board games! haha.. the dumber the better!! there’s cranium, the animal game, monopoly, rumikub. etc!! settler’s cafe’s a must go!! had hoards of fun there with the girls as well as the jerks! GUYS! hah. sum guys just try to push their luck… freggggin bastards. hypocritical. bleaHhh… their immature just turns me off sumtimes. This taught me that.. MATURITY has got NOTHING to do with age.. gRrr
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2005’s also the year where i Met my evil twin KEY CHUA!!!!! she’s like the noisiest girl i’ve ever known. if u ppl think val’s noisy. key’s valX10!!! hahaha.. But i LOVE HER TO BITS!!!!!!! she never fails to cheer me up, and she gives me calls to let me noe she cares. Man.. i’m glad i gotta know her tru priscy. Wished we mustered the courage to get to know each other 1 year back. hah. but its never too late rite!?
I feel pretty when i’m with them. it’s like a bunch of pweeeeteee girls marching 2gether.. hahaha. Getting the attention of guys isnt an issue at all.. it’s GETTING THE ATTENTION OF RIGHT GUYS!!! prisc always seem 2 get the guys larr. pissing me and key off.. guess that’s becuz key n i juz lie on our beach mat, TANNING while priscy n carol Runs about! heh.. Now that key n val’s attached, lucky prisc wld haf all the guys! bleah!
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OoOoohhh and CLUBBING CLUBBING CLUBBING!!! i LOVE clubbing!!!! well. with the right group of ppl of cuz! namely HOTTie prisc!!! i wonder WHY, but.. i REALLY do NOT dance with guys.. direct friends yes. indirect friends? Fugg off.. dance floor? “Lay ur hands on me and u die!!” priscy and i even ahd to kiss, and act as tho we were lesbians to get guys away! hah.. mm what else? i love Lychee martinis and that’s like the ONLY thing i drink these days.. no mor Downing of drink.. cuz i get really realli mad and wild! hah
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Those crazy FUnn party days with my m1 peeps are prolly over. heh. We dont go out as a group anymore. Guess i’m prolly “out” of their group. why? cuz i’m attached? we cant get along? different “thinking”? behaviour?? nothing personal.. just that… mmm guess those days of hanging out together are over. they’re my colleagues… Wish they could be friends too… Can we?
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Now who DOESNT have regrets? we all do.. things we should have done, things we DIDNt do.. all the what ifs.. Well, no point looking back… but i cant hlp regretting. Friendship which wasnt kept, promises not fulfilled. Deciet, and everything else. I cant change the past… I can only REMEMBER and REMIND myself… that i will NOT let it happen in future.

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More M1 peeps.. =)
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WAKEBOARDING!!!!! something which i wish i can do more often.. lack the $$$$ larhhh damn it!
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Heh..SEE i told u! we look pretty good rite!? 😛 If its anything that made my 2005 bearable, Brighter and Cheerful, it’s becuz of Prisc and Key. Thanks dearSS
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My Xmas eve at Panpac.. Totally diff frm last year! hahaha.. onli similarity would b prisc and drinking?? hahaha.. with newly made friends like kenneth, greg, edwin, etc..
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2005 made me realize my Feline obsession has increased!! haha.. well, dogs, yes, but i’m more of a meow meow person as well! heh.. and GERBERRAS!! my fave flowers still,
As 2005 leave w/o a trail… ask urself.. have u truly lived!? mmm.. what else?? got my birkens, lost a BIG wisdom tooth, did a car show.. Became a photoslut… hah
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Most importantly, the year 2005 sept 11th is the day i asked james to be with me! hah. Kinda gutsy for a girl huh!? well.. of cuz he likes me also larrr!! my skin nt like rhino’s skin larr.. haha. Best of all, tis guy likes taking pix with me!! hehehhee.. frm the days which we went to skool to study together, our 1st date (cant rem subsequent ones).. to the wedding we went together, Xmas, The first time we got caught by CNPB in a raid. hahhaa.. Memories of 2005… Kinda short… but more to come for sure =)
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Not as if there’s very little pix of me.. but WHO CARES!!! MORE’S BETTER!! MY BLOG MAH!! wahahhaa. a lil narcisic now! hah… oh.. 1 more resolution for 2006. “Learn a different smile”! 😛
Heard tis on the radio:
As u take a big step towards the coming year. Spent some time, turn back, and ask urself, have you truly lived?
I have.
happy new year everyone!
May the year ahead be a better one than the last!

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i think i just packed my room…

i THINK so lar…
well.. aparently, i trashed lots of stuff, packed my old books/notes and stashed it into the cupboard above, Did a hard reset on my PDA, entered my coming sem’s school and work schedule, as well as cleared up some other stuff in my room..

SO TELL ME WHY IS IT STILL SO MESSY!?!?!?!?

Bro’s right, my room’s big.. just that i filled it up too quickly. and too well. hahaha

Went to JB for seafood with my family today. Love ocassional night-outs with them. Talking bout some ol times, jokes, and antics by by dad. =) Da-bao-ed HorfuN for james, as he was unable to join us for dinner. aWw.. too bad. nxt time yea!??

Im counting down… my days to sleep 12 hrs are limited.. =(
Schedule nxt sem’s kinda packed. and Priscy n i have unresolved issues.. Regarding…….. U shld know what lar babe…. =(

Nitez.. BED time… Bro’s prolly gona drag me 2 buy a hp for him… THERE GOES MY STAFF PURHCASE…. solves the prob of finding a phone with high profit margin, finding a buyer, trade in for another phone, blah blah blah. Solve the prob. Not gona make ani $$ =) juz give the “offer” to my bro.. and Damn it! i still owe him $40 bucks!

To Lyd: YES!!! i aint working very hard animore!! no more OTs… leave me an SMS k? not sure if u changed ur number.. tts y ive gota go tru iris! haha.. reali hope to see u soon.

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just wana cry..

im upset.

I just wana cry….

fine, i already am crying… it feels good to juz cry ur hearts out… guys may think it’s a stupid move, but WRONG, ask any girl, and she’d tell u that more often than not… she doesnt know the reason why she’s crying, and MOST importantly, she’d feel better after she cry!

Its scientifically proven that crying reduces stress/tension and what’s nots. so BOoHOoHoo!!! thumbs down to those of u who dont belive in crying, and insistent on keeping ur back bone straight, and that crying’s for babies.

there’s no particular reason as to why im crying. juz feeling pekchek i guess… AND, other ppl’s feelings rub off me as well… i felt pekchek, and after i realized james was pekchek with his own stuff.. i felt equalli bad…

Oh damn it.. show me some light, spark, a sign a whatever.. just make me happy, and make me STOP being so whiny. and FUCK! i hate it when ppl dont reply my msgs or answer my calls. To hell with everything lar.. Ive had enough.

When im upset, i act on impulse. i dont wana be impulsive… because i make mistakes when im impulsive. Fuck it lar… I do not want anything 2 affect me anymore. Have i made a mistake again tis time!?!?!?!??? have i set myself into a trap… where i cant get out of?? out of impulse?? i dont know and i dont care. all i know now is that i’m DAMN DAMN DAMMMMNNNNNNN unhappy!. someone… bring me a choc ice blended……. =(

yeah.. im emotional. That’s juz me. Take it or leave it. and do i look like i care if this post is incoherrent? Read my lips. “I DONT”.

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Burnt Out

Now to tell u the truth, i fell totally burnt out. Feel as tho i’ve worked like a cow.. In addition to my weekly work schedule of 6pm-11m work daily except weds n sats. I worked an additional 1 hr on thurs till 12 mid nite, an additional 8am to 1pm on fri morning, 830am to 1230pm on sat morning. It’s sunday now, just got back from work, on mon and tues morning frm 8am-1pm, i’d haf work again, followed by normal work in the evening frm 6pm to 11pm.

Now who am i kidding!? i really really am feeling very very tired. Know i applied for it, and it serves me right, n i haf 2 look 4ward 2 my nxt pay.. BUT, im starting 2 feel that there are things which $$ cant buy. i.e. TIME. SLEEP. and its depressing to know that skool term starts on 3rd Jan, and i will NOT have many chances to get 12 hrs of sleep. To make things so totally worst, priscy’s bday present is not done yet, xmas presents not bought, not done. i’m so totally screwed. Tried cancelling my thurs n fri’s OT. i SERIOUSLY wont b able to hold out any longer. Those who do know about shitty “people” i deal with at work, u shld understand. those who dont, just understand that it feels like shit. hah…

Havent washed a car in the longest time, and today i WASHED A CAR!!!! wont say it’s very nicely done, but….. it rained once we left the car park. hah! What a work out tis weekend! Caught “The Promise” and i must say it’s quite good =) went all the way 2 changi, in an attempt 2 catch sight of “big” stars, and “strong” wind…. all we got were a trail of bbq scent, hide n seek moon.. haha… OHhhh and i bought a jacket!!! or rather, James bought me a jacket. 😛 im in charge of wearing it! haha… THANKEWWWWWWWW… but i’m letting u off easy if it’s a treat for gettin ur bonus! hah.. **kidin** hehe..

On the lighter note, here’s some pix due 4 viewing.
Mum n myself, at crystal jade. MY TREAT.. for the first time! hah
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KeyChua and myeslf in Mambo’s fitting rm
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Priscy n myself in attempt to tk a self portrait of the xmas tree.
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A pic of a gift.. made for someone.. not too long ago… Doesnt take a genius 2 guess who it’s 4 😛
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So SooOoo screwed. I’ve gota complete priscy’s present. xmas present. more work. etc etc etc. wait. have i already mentioned that!? gaWwwddd… i need a shower. and i need 2 head 2 bed SOON. =( wana watch teevee =(!!! i miss……….. doin things i wana do. in short. i hate work! i just love $$…

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Insecure Wed

Passed an Offday, Just like that.

Enrollment
Window shopping
Nightsafari Ben & Jerry
Pasar Malam shopping with mum
Dance Class
Supper with James

Hmm. seem like quite a handful.
Nevertheless, i clocked close to 110KM in mileage, spent bout $15 on parking/ERP.
I’m broke.. Pay’s finally in. and how in the world am i gonna survive till the end of nxt mth!? There’re so many presents to buy.. presents to make.. =(

Havent been left dumbfounded for the longest time.
He asked when was the first day we met. I cant remember.. He did.
Then he said, This is wat he calls SIGNIFICANT. like when we met, our 1 yr 2gether, etc. NOT 1 month. Then he mentioned, what the fuck is 1 mth etc..

Honestly honey, dont use that word on me. It never fails to make things unpleasent. Perception. What’s impt to you, may not be important to me. What’s important to me, may not be important to you. Period.

Feel as if i’m walking on tight ropes these days.
Dont wanna make him snap. If he snaps, i’d fall.
I feel small and little.
Insecure. No more elaborations needed.

Wish he didnt have such effect on me.
effects are present, cuz there are feelings involved.
Feeling Pissified now.
Guess some things are better left unsaid.
Past left undug..
Future left untold.

stared at the RRRROOOOUUUUNNDDDDD moon..
emitting an aura of serenity..
Making the “star-less” sky seem less empty..
I start to wonder. The sky’s so high.. i’m just another unhappy person out there.
There’re lots of other less fortunate ppl.
Cliche i know… But true nevertheless..

And when i turned to look at THIS…

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i cant hlp but give an exasparated smirk once i recall what he said.
All anger of mine (if any) wld just subside,
Problems solved for the time being
Worries set aside
Confusion set straight,
Misunderstanding Understood,
I’d simply juz be left momentarily blinded by happiness and Pure Bliss.

He bought them back frm BKK. and said:

“The gerberras i bought you wld die, and you’d throw them away.. Got you tis plastic ones.. so that they’d never wilt..”

Swear was super gan dong at tt moment. and he didnt even bargain…

I shall just drift to slp with “the moment”..
Irregardless, of my insecurities, and how unhappy i made you…. I still love u.

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.Singaporeans.
The Bloody rich, Humble Poors, and Half Fucks
As u can tell, i’m only against he half fucks, Hence the ommission of all negative remarks towards the first 2 type of singaporeans. AND by the way, all comments are based on VaL Chng’s limited 20 (and counting) yrs of biased, narrow minded knowledge, prejudiced perception of supid people , in summation with experiences met via unfortunate incidents in this very warped world. Cheerios.. READ ON…
Lets Just start with the Bloody Rich.
as it goes, they’re BLAR-DEE rich, that they cant really be bothered much with nitty gritty details. These people are educated, have a sense of humor, AND best of all, know their matters.
TRAITS:
  • They mostly keep their car keys IN their pockets and not ON the dining table
  • Tips are left in Notes, and with the reciept book CLOSED.
  • They dish compliments with an aura of class and manerism.
  • They dress in casual slacks.
  • Formal wear are Strictly for business.
  • Non flashy cufflinks, nor montblanc pen coming out of their breast pocket
  • Get their wife or secretary to buy stuff for them, since $$ is not much of an issue
  • Dine where ever there’s nice food, be it Foie Gras, Char Kueh Tiao, or Rotiprata.
  • Have time to Rest and Relax.
  • No need for a credit card.
Moving on to the Humbly Poor,
They’re people who KNOW they are not that well off, but have enough to make ends meet. face the fact, how many truly poor ppl are there in sg? where they cant even afford to buy toilet paper? I may say i’m poor, but no, i CAN afford toilet paper.
TRAITS:
  • They are polite for a start
  • Aware of their financial standing
  • BOTHER to give tips, be it coins, or whatever they can afford.
  • Do not make purchases that are way out of their budget
  • Pay their credit card bills on time if they DO have a credit card
  • They say please and mean it, Thank you and sound sincere
  • Use a “parker” pen (ok, i’m stereotyping) and keep it in their briefcase
  • Drive a toyota and remember where their car is and NOT use the alarm
  • Make “la kopi-ing” at the nearby Kopitiam seem like a cool place to hang out
  • Bother to offer others a lift when driving around
  • Let you know that pricing is expensive, admit that they do not have much $.
  • Dress in their best Giordano top, Hang ten bottom look plesant
LASTLY, here comes the half fucks.
They’re neither here, nor there, trying too hard to blend in, not making the cut, and worst of all, allowing everyone else to know they belong to the Half Fuck category. CONGRATS losers!
TRAITS:
  • They leave their Toyota car key with BMW keychain on the dining table
  • Leave tips in notes esp when they’ve got a dining partner.
  • When not willing to tip, they claim the service is bad.
  • Make a big HooHaH out of nothing
  • Threatens to complain, be it to IDA, MOM, MP or even Devan Nair. (wait, do they even know he passed away?? God rest his soul)
  • Dine at seemingly posh places, Claiming food is good (due to pricing), tho the chap chai peng auntie’s apprentice’s new found kah kia can cook better!
  • Articulate words like my “appartment” (meaning the 5room flat his/her parents own), my “secretary” (the admin staff in his office), my “party” (the bottle of chivas he opened at dbl0), my “Holiday” (the weekend trip to eat seafood in msia), my “Spree” ($80 spending at Forever 21, with 30% discount, and loyalty rewards card, 10% shopping voucher, in addition to the 5% discount the manager gives after being a FAMILIAR customer aka. complain queen) many more..
  • Aspire to buy Gucci, Prada, and whatever that Hilton lady and her best friend is wearing.
  • Fashion statment means spotting that latest “Look” that was featured on FEMALE mag. WHICH was obviously meant for models. OR the winter season.
  • Ensure that the 5th C of a diamond is NOT known to others, . i.e. Cut, Clarity, Carat, Color and the 5th being COST SAVING. bloody cheapos.
  • A Bargain hunter wanting to look posh.
  • Insists on a cocktail even on ladies night. Cummon, Vodka’s free flow u noe!
  • Insisting paris is Romance city, without even knowing if people DO kiss on the streets, and being HIGHLY conned by korean drama.
  • Giving the “i own the world look” while seating in the car, trying to make a modified Subaru run like Ferarri, Nissan March look like Volkswagen beetle, and tinking their Toyota camry is a BMW equivalent.
  • NEVER remembering where their car is, needing to sound that sickening alarm for as long as it takes to make everyone turn n stare. HeY! it’s called ATTENTION
  • Dreaming of dubai, not batting an eyelid to redang. My question to u “frequent Travellers” is that… , where’s DUBAI!? ………………. (go google it)!!!! it’s in UAE. What does it stand for?? United Arab Emirates. hah! guessed as much. STUPID in caps.
  • Buy make up and Not skin care … (ok, i’m digressing)…
MY POINT IS
Dont make me dispise u furthur. go take ur high class dream, put it under your pillow, pray that Zhou Gong will grant ur wish, when he lose that round of chess to you. HELLO!!! wake up ur idea!!
haha.. enough of my random posting. Just some thoughts tt id wana take down, incase i never make it into the Bloody rich category, and happen to uncontrollably slip into the H-F circle.
Enrollment tmr.. DANCE class too! hah.. wonder how it’ll turn out =( somebody CONTROL me and tell me NOT to buy dance apparel!!!!!! No idea why… but somehow i’m really lookin 4ward to tis weekend.. a weekend of seemingly promised fun, enjoyment, and company. A weekend of making up, making out and making sure. Let me NOT regret forsaking my $80 worth of OT pay.. =( I know i wont lar!! hahahaa..
Nitez… i Swear prisc’s gona b late tmr. mark my words… she said to meet at 11 at clementi. i’d post tmr, letting THE WORLD know wat time she’s gona reach. hahA..

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gosh. i’m so bloody bored. Wrong word. “SIAN” is a more appropriate.

I feel so so so damn sianz lar.
Someone, bring me to xu liu shan please…..
How about a nice date? just You and me? any takers??

Dear God,
Are you out there? it’s me.. Valerie..
(tittle as adapted frm “are you there god, it’s me margaret” frm Judy Blume)

Wake me up!
Make me snap out of this need to WANT more of my own life.
Make me feel contented with whatever i have..
whatever i own.. no matter how big or small.

Dont let me covet for the impossible,
Dont allow me to wish for things which i long to have,
or even Feelings which i long to feel.

Just let me Be contented,
and at the same time,
NOT neglect my own feelings,
Nor b too sensitive.

Let someone see what’s lurking behind those fearful eyes.
The fear of losing myself once again..
Let someone feel what some others felt
Just let me be at my very best!

People learn, People grow, People change.
Dont make me a victim of circumstances….
Allow me to do what i want, say wat i want.

Who took away the courage to express?
Who’s gona allow my freedom of words?
Who made me irk, and feel ill ease with myselF?
Who rebutted the verbal expression of my heart?
EVERYONE said it isnt them.. and they’d never do that.
Infact.. they already did.

Makes no sense???

It’s part 2 of:
YOU THINK I GOT GA LAN OR NOT!!?!??!sometimes, it’s onli nice when it comes out of williams mouth. ONLY williams mouth. and maybe yanglun.

As continued frm ytd’s post. hah.

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