Archive for November, 2005

So much betta now.

Afew moments later,

Prisc came online. She said she felt that there was this “CALLING” that someone needed her online. Thanks dear. That’s me. Thanks for coming online. Miss key didnt reply my msn. so she’s proly slpin.

She mentioned tt i’m EMO and PARANOID, which is true to a certain extend. YES.. i am. i was.. ok. i still am.

PriScY says:
trust me.. it’s james we’re talking abt… not OTHER guys.

**claps** jame’s bottle of peach vodka has done well. Reali scored unlimited points wif priscy. 😛

Haha. prisc is right lar. u ARE aSleep.. its me. confusing myself with my confusing thoughts. i shld juz take things at surface value. Guess a part of me just wants J to be happy happy happy happy always. not be bogged by work stress n all. Best of all, i juz want the BOTH of us 2 b happy!… =) yes. i know we will.

thanks 4 cheerin me up priscy… hmm greg attempted too. but ended up vomiting blood… guess it’s a Male-female thing. where we juz wont see eye to eye on all issues. hah. and thankeW keY for “tucking me in” to bed… (virtually)… haha. askin me 2 wash up.. slp . 🙂 MuaKz… WILLIAM!!!!! wish u were online earlier.. 😦 thanks aniwae.. knew i could rant to u if ever i want to!! 🙂

Still think im an ugly duck.. one tt goes KWAKKKKKK KWWWAAAKKK…
not even a duckling. duckling grew up 2 b a swan. i’m a grown duck.
so.. KWWWaaaKKK!!!
will u still love this fat duck? 😦


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Tears at last.

dont complain about me not blogging k?… here i am, BLOGGING NOW!

and i’m in tears, looking really bad, blowing my nose out, wif mascarra comming off. It seems like it isnt that water proof after all!

it started off with me being in a bad mood, and stupid me, had to juz msg james to tell him im in a bad mood. after which, asked why, and i obviously dont know why!!!! if i know i would tell.. but val doesnt! how 2 telL!?!?! so his last msg went “ayah, u dont wish to say den nvm. i go slp ler. nitez” after that, i msged him called him… NO REPLY!!!!!!!

walaOoo i’m like left hanging there now lar! and i think i’m seriously so depressed! at least reply me to say he’s ok.. etc. FINE, he msged me 2 say he’s gona slp already.. so he’s prolly slping. but still….. i dont feel at ease!

Feeling PMSsy…. PMS was never an excuse i gave myself. NEVER. guess now i really have to credit it ALLL to pms. i feel so volatile… i havent cried in ages. aaaagggeeesss. it was quite hard to get the tears rolling, but YES, now that its started, it cant stop.

AND I”M HUNGRY!!! i’m hungry n i’m upset, i’m tired, n i’m so lazy to shower!. what can be worst!? i cannot take hunger. i simply cant. once i’m hungry i’d be in a bad mood. and i can eat less, but i cant dont eat. 😦 i’m so upset now…. i’m so hungry, n i feel like eating supper… but i cant. cuz i’m trying to lose weight!

GosHhh all this nonsensical ranting.. swear i’m gona faint if i read them again. but hell no!!! i’m juz gona continue. Doubt james even reads it in the first place. im having a sore throat already… my throat’s feeling all sore. =( think i’m being too demanding as a gf. im sorry. if im bad. dump me.

OH WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING!!! i dont want him to do that!!! fine.. i’m suffering a lil frm inferiority complex.. so what… i dont think im good enough loR…. and so happens i’ve got a bf who doesnt express that well. HENCe my stupid brain running in all directions.

So why the hell do i care how others view me!? not OTHERs. it’s my bf. i care for his opinion. hence my current trauma. i tink.. im really getting too concerned bout his words.sometimes i read too much into his meaning. he juz said he was gona slp! he’s not ignoring u val!!! WAKE UP!!!

Priscy… Key.. where are u!!?? 😦 val just feels upset. no reason. really really no particular reason…. trust me when i say that…. James, wont u just get up, msg me.. and let me smile to bed tonight!?

I’M HUNGRY!!!!! i’d juz keep crying till i feel betta… emotionally at least.. useless me. Yes i know. so what. will u still love me for me? Its really true that i dont know wats goin through ur mind at times james. 😦

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my SUPRISE delivery!

Before Mr. J left, he asked for a favor, he said that his dad bought him and his mum an early Xmas gift, but there wasnt anyone arnd to collect it. Hence he asked if it was possible tt the entertainment set was sent to my house first, and he’d collect it when his back. I said Of cuz!!

When i asked for a reciept, he conveniently forgot, as it’s with his mum, and he’s always busy. Well, he mentioned that it was fine, as he gave my contact number, etc to the delivery person already. Being the ever sensitive val, i thought he would be sending me a gift or something when he asked for my address. I guess not.. sigh. He’s a busy man.. plus he’s busy with his impending trip, and humongous workload.. =(

He Jested and mentioned that maybe the deliv person wld sent a “gift” and when i LIT up and asked what it was………. he said… “a microphone”… (‘_’). Here’s a tip from val, Never expect something from a guy… the lesser u expect, the lesser disappointment you’d get. I wasnt that dismayed actually, Since he’s gona b away, n it’s gona b the LONGEST time tt i aint gona c him. But there isnt any “ocassion”.. so why the need for anything special? **Secretly wishing tt something wld happen tho**

So val just told prisc bout the roller coaster emotions she’s got, n even the clever prisc Didnt think there wld be any “suprise” goin on, since val feels tt he isnt very romantic apparently. What a poker faced guy!!

**TING TONG** i napped on the sofa, was afraid i’d miss the delivery. It’s all worth it =)
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3 red, 3 orange, 3 pink! along with a card that goes like tis:

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WalaOOooo val’s heart melted lar!!! Mushy? hair standing? U’RE JUST JEALOUS!!! NEH NEH NI POo pOO!!

Rang him up immediately!!!! It’s the biggggggest bouquet of gerberras i’ve recieved!!! ThanK you Dear!!!!!!!!!!! =) **Beams** u sure do know how to make my day despite being away! Hmmm.. ok, i’m upgrading u to semi-romantic!!!!!! hehehhee.. Know u like the “gift” i got u too!! too bad i didnt have time to take pix of it!

Here are some thoughts for today:
“There isnt any “DAY” for special stuff, not the time of the year, nor the day of a month, everyday would b a special day, if u’ve got a special someone in ur heart. So why wait!? Quick do something sweeeet for that special someone now.. Be it a suprise for ur loved one, or just spending time with ur mates”

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10 things i like

on my way to HV, and prisc is stuck at the apple center. As expected. In the meanwhile, guess i’d just blog, n keep myself entertained.

Here’s 10 things I like about prisc:
1. she looks great! No matter what she wears. Great dress sense!
2. She mixes arnd with my friends / bf’s friends v well!
3. We can bitch abt anything and have serious talks at the same time
4. We can stay in the toilet for the longest time, making ourselves pretty.
5. She listens to me whine
6. She understands what i’m saying most of the time, w/o me sayin it out.

7. We entertain each other, making each other hyped up abt food, outtings n god knows what. Haha
8. Our taste in guys are totally different, so there’s no way we’re gona FIGHT for the same guy
9. She’s my sexy dancing clubbing partner!!
10. I can be oh so VALERIE when i’m with her 🙂

10 Things i like about key
1. She’s LOUDER than i am
2. She makes “dramatic-val” seem mediocre
3. She’s an inspiration. i wana b as skinny damn it!
4. She’s always online, to provide a listening “ear”
5. She’s *almost* the same size as me so she can lend me her pants!
6. She’s always giving me advise, making me feel a lil chirpier!
7. She’s my evil twin, when i dont know wat’s wrong sometimes, i can count on her 2 give the best answers.
8. She’s so Pretty!!
9. A photoslut like myself
10. She’s the my kind of girl… =)

10 things i like about James
1. He always knows what to do, and has a clear head
2. He’s got a stable job, and knows what he wants in future
3. He makes it a point to give in to me whenever we have our disagreements.
4. He walks me home everyday after work
5. He Messages me on his own will before he sleeps every nite.. *now how mani guy does tt w/o being asked by his gf!?*
6. It seems like seeing val is more impt than sleep!! and he IS wiling to forsake a little sleep! *what a change frm other guys* really am touched.
7. He’s never late for impt stuff like work (only). every thing else, SURE LATE!. At least i wont need to worry
8. He can take care of himself best of all, he takes care of me too!!
9. I feel safe and cozy when i’m with him.. Be it just holding hands, or giving him a hugg. Makes me wana stay by his side.
10. Just the both of us, doing nothing, and i’d feel all contented already. =)
11. He remembers his promises made, things he agreed to do, and even THings i said!
12. He wants me to make things explicit, and he’d just do it!
13. My friends like him.
14. He remembers my fave flowers, food, and little things etc
15. He’s fiercely loyal to his friends
16. He stays near by!! *now that’s a plus point*
17. He dresses well. Think he looks really good in office wear. =)
18. VERY orderly *just the opposite of val*.. very “accountant”-style. haha
19. Not sure if he’s the romantic kind of guy, wish he was.. but he gave me suprises!!! like the Yanzi CD!!
20. Very thoughtful guy indeed.
21. Not very expressive, Lots of probing needed, DONT even know wat he really likes and really wants, but he’s definately making life easy for me by liking me the way i am.
22. Good memory.
23. EugH!!! he smokes lar!!! damn.. ok, i like it when he says tt he’d cut down. Hearing it makes me happy, because i really do want him 2 cut down. i hate it when my bf smokes. but u know what!? deep inside i know it’ll b impossible for him 2 quit. Damn it. i know he wont, yet i feel happy when he say tt he wld. am i stupid or stupid or wat? I’d love any guy who’d give up smoking for me!! then again, it’s impossible to give up smoking… sigh… no guy/girl wld b able to do it. DARLING I REALLY WISH YOU WLD SMOKE LESS OR NONE AT ALL!!! let tis b my chrismas, birthday, new year wish… then again, wishes seldom come true…. Now that he’s going to BKK, i’m sure he’d smoke like nobody’s buisness. So who am i to even bother/control him!? i’ve learnt my lesson through eric/jesse. I’ve learnt that i cant control/stop anione frm smoking, no matter how much i wish.. tis time round… i just thought that things were gona b different. there still was a glimmer of hope that things are gonna b different…. they’re different in personality character etc. Guess it’s the same when it comes to smoking. =( i wish…. i wish….. i wish.. Forget it lar! if he’s happy doing it.. guess i can live with it.

Oops, did i say 10? guess i exceeded by quite abit!
In short, a James a day, keeps the troubles away!!
I’d miss him when he’s away… sigh..

Shall leave the honors of posting pix/stories bout settlers cafe to PRISCY! val’s tired. long day tmr.

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funny ah neh..

Was surfing pass ron’s blog and here’s what i found


I swear it’s funny. No doubt a racist and vulgar… haha.. Do check it out if u’re free! Oh, follow the translation if u can. =)
My new sitting arrangement totally sucks!! i do not like it there. i wana go back to where i was right infront of adrian, at the corner.. where i feel most at home.. =( My new seat is so far away from everywhere. And its totally empty. argH. i betta find new stuff to spruce it up! i so do not like it there!!
Got a whole stack of DVDs / VCDs frm mr J, and TMD!!! the TV’s in Black n White after i hook my new dvd on to it. oh damn it. He lend me the whole stack of shows, in attempt to keep me busy, and not SSTTTRRRAAAYYY while he’s off to thailand. hahaha.. good attempt. First, lets fix the TV!!! grRr
Feels good knowing that i’m OFF tomorrow!! whEee!! gona head to settler’s cafe with priscy dear, chris, J, Greg, ++ Kinda miss prisc, havent seen her in a long while.. and Key’s chatter!!! i only “hear” her through msn.. sigh. cant wait for 29th, where i can finally bask in the sun once more! =) new bikini pls!!
Feel like goin to thailand, or taiwan.. Food’s great there. If ever i go for a trip, i’d make sure i fast for 30 days first. Or else i’m NEVER gona lose that weight =( i so wana lose weight.. but i’m so easily hungry at the same time ..
it’s bed time.. and its really cold n breezy tonite. somehow wish i wasnt snuggling alone in bed.. =) yaWnz..

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Wake up QUITTER!

My weekend felt weirdly Fulfilling. Had Boonlay Nasi lemak for dinner, and headed to Jurong point for Harry Potter at 0040hrs. Thats bout it. Yet, it felt really really really satisfying. No doubt dinner + movie companion consists of a weird mix of Greg Myself and James, it still felt very very nice. =) WERID I KNOW.. val hates Jurong point. it’s a market place to her.. a place where i head for lunch, get last min stuff etc. Guess its just a feeling of spending a WEEKEND with someone you love. a weeknight. After a tiresome/bothersome week of work, a weekend where both parties are feeling lighthearted and carefree, just getting to gether.. vaL feels contented. =)

Not in the best of moods now. No idea what’s wrong man, Failed 2 quizes badly at work today, and got fugged up calls. Sometimes, i’ve got no idea why the hell am i even working, i can just get $$ frm my parents like what my bro’s doing now. to hell with work, i’m a STUDENT, i’m STUDYING…. i dont need to pay for my bills, expenses, clothes, my parents will jolly well take care of em.. Feel like juz throwing the letter at times. It sucks having stupid ppl stepping on ur tail, doing stupid things like quizzes which i hate so very much. i hate quizzes, tests, exams, spot checks, anything quantifying. My abilities arent quantifiable. Guess its just a realistic way of measurement, and i failed it. damn. Here’s what they taught me.. “It may be your 100001th call, but it’s the customer’s 1st.” I make sure i’ve got that in mind b4 i answer any call. Professionalism u call that? job ethics i suppose. im taking your $$, i jolly well do my job and make sure i meet ur expectations.


  1. I had rich parents who’d buy me cars houses and everything i want
  2. I had a rich husband who’d continue buying me cars houses and everything i want
  3. I wish i had children who’d dote on me and buy me EVERYTHIHG i want
  4. damn it. Forget the top 3, i just want to earn enough to buy myself anything and everything i want! on top of that. i wana make sure i can get my PARENTS the things they want, make my husband happy, and children contented.

Sorry. I have none of such abilities. For now, im just so sick and tired of work, that i wish to throw the letter. Damn it. speak of low morale and lack of motivation.. argh. Val’s no longer a quitter. if it were the old me, i’d have left long ago. guess i cant leave now. i’ve got Responsibilities.. a responsibility to myself. I need this job. Damn val. whack urself and stop ur bloody ideas bout quitting n all. How the hell are u gonna even FEED yourself. To hell with independence. I shld just be every other stupid bimb. mix arnd with more trashy FE-male whom william can introduce me to, and just be…… trashy! LEECH on guys.. look towards $$$ fast cars and all.

So why in the world is val not LEECHING!?!?! why in the world does she prefer takin the MRT and Bus in comparison to a cab!? she wasnt brought up this way. she’s conditioned to behave this way. Show me the $$ show me the $$ show me the $$!!! SLAP ME QUICK! make me snap out of this quit mode!

Results are out on the 7th… Jame’s leavin on the 23rd, pay’s in on the 26th.. blah blah blah. i’m sick of this boring life…. but that’s life! hah. WAKE UP VAL!

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Congrats to the 100TH successful post on this blog, appart from those few ocassions where blogger crashed on me, my bloggin experience has been an extremely memorable one =). Till date i’ve got erm.. 11178 counts on my stats, and i’ve been bloggin since…. 24th aug 2005! OK, so much for comemerating my 100th post! heh.

Its not an un known fact. And i really hate to admit it.. I’M FREGGIN MESSY!!!!!!! i’m only neat when i want to be, and i’d mess up my whole room, and pack it only when i’ve got the mood. It just feels great to throw every thing all about, anywhere i want to! i call this ORGANIZED MESS, because somehow or other, i DO know where my stuff are.. when mum packs my stuff.. that’s it. you’d hear me SCREAMING.. “MUM!!!!!!!!!!!! wheres my XXXXXXX…!!!!?!?!?!?”.. I finally admit the fact that i’m messy because of a few obvious facts i realized today:

  1. Emails at work are in a mess, and unsorted
  2. Wires are all over the table. Laptop Charger, HP charger, PDA charger, PDA cable, HP cable, External drive, External drive batt charger, Mouse, Earphones.. YOU NAME IT!
  3. Clothes are left unsorted in my cupboard
  4. Ear-Rings are left un-HUNG after wearing
  5. Make up are left DISORGANIZED
  6. Last sem’s notes Un trashed
  7. CDs unsorted
  8. Even my FILES in my PDA are messy
  9. Worst still, pictures in my Laptop are in a greater mess
  10. Im starting to faint when i look the keyboard area of my table. Filled with god knows wat lar!

Damn it.. Damn damn DAMN IT! feeling more n more pissed off as i look at this sty of mine. i swear i’d pack it b4 the year ends.. *grinz* (note the long lead time) haha..

Resolution of the year. to be a NEATER PERSON!!! and not just stash my junk anywhere avail.. sigh. thank god my room’s not that big. or it’ll still be filled with my mess! Give val some credit lar ok? she can be really neat when she wants to. Unlike william who’s a neat freak, i tink i’m not neat by nature! haha. really pity those who’re gona have the chance to STAY with me. namely PRISC! :P.. operation NEAT VAL in progress!

Its a sat at long last. Finally a day where i can spent with J, without worries of having to go back early as he’s got work the nxt dae.. Despite meeting up almost everyday, it’s juz a short while! I do look 4ward to the weekends. ok, so sats are gona be DEDICATED to mr. J!!! 😀 even if ive gota go out wif friends, he’s taggin along on sat niteS! wahaha.. well, my sat DAYS are to my girlies if they’re ON for tanning! hehe.. I’d never forsake my babes.

Good nite everione, and have a goOd sat. it’s my OFF DAY!!! ok 38 hilda and 38 ST… u guys gota work! wahahhahaa.. know u’re checking tis out.. and ST wants me 2 proclaim tt both him and Hilda are 38s!!! haha

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